I am presently studying Notes from Underground, an amazing literary work that examines the human condition.
There are a number of quotations that may be easily applied to my life, or indeed, the lives of most humans.
… you constantly come up in life against those virtuous and sensible people, sages and lovers of mankind, who make it their very life’s purpose to conduct themselves at all times as properly and sensibly as possible; to serve, as it were, as guiding lights to their fellow men, to the end of proving to them that it is indeed possible to live in the world both decently and sensibly. And what does it all come down to? We know how many of these lovers of mankind have sooner or later ended up by betraying their own fine principles and pulling some scandalous antic–often of a most disreputable nature.
Yup, that’s me; I am a person who tries to act sensibly, logically, and decently. I can fully see the possibility, how ever much I wish to discredit it, of myself — at some point — doing something indecent and contrary to my principles.
Later on, there is another noteworthy paragraph:
In every man’s memory there are things he won’t reveal to others, except, perhaps, to friends. And there are things he won’t reveal even to friends, only, perhaps, to himself, and then, too, in secret. And finally, there are things he is afraid to reveal even to himself, and every decent man has quite an accumulation of them. In fact, the more decent the man, the more of them he has stored up.
Those of you who are pestering me about secrets may take something from this.