McDonald’s Canada (@McD_Canada) has been offering free coffee all day from March 1 up to March 14, and they claim it has nothing to do with Tim Horton’s Roll Up the Rim promotion.

I went to try it, but I don’t really have an opinion about the taste or quality of McDonald’s coffee. (I haven’t bought coffee at a coffee shop for more than 3 months.) Apparently “experts” say it beats Starbucks and Tim Hortons.

Free coffee? Sure, try it.

Stay awake!

I don’t like coffee. However, I can understand why people might like it, or need it. I can’t think of anyone who could be happy and energetic all day, unless they’re on drugs—and that’s my point. Coffee serves as a drug; caffeine, of course, is a narcotic. It’s a psychoactive stimulant that makes you more alert and aware. You already know that.

If not for this wonderful effect of caffeine products like coffee, the demand for coffee would probably be rather low.

Health risks benefits

I guess caffeine could have benefits; apparently it has a role in preventing Parkinson’s disease. The fact that caffeine doesn’t directly cause any health concerns for most users explains why it is one of the only unregulated drugs in the world. (Of course, that’s partly because the lawmakers are staying awake on it too.)

Taste

In any case, I’m not a coffee person. This brown … substance … is too bitter, too caffeinated.

I don’t understand how people get used to the bitter taste (even with a few creams and sugars). Sure, it might smell great, but smell ≠ taste. The most popular foods in life not only smell good, they have to taste good. (Unless you go by this definition of delicacy.) Coffee just doesn’t taste good.

Tea

Personally, I prefer things like tea. To me, the bitter taste of coffee can never match the aromas of Earl Grey, orange pekoe, rooibos & honeybush tea (more easily acquired in South Africa), or the easily tolerable green tea. I take it with a little sugar and sometimes a little milk. The result, of course, is something that smells wonderful, tastes great, and is much more natural and healthy than coffee. (I should note that while true teas from the Camellia sinensis plant do contain caffeine, rooibos & honeybush tea is herbal, ‘red’ tea that lacks caffeine.)

In this, I’m not alone. Coffee might be ‘enjoyed’ by 90% of North Americans (or so Wikipedia tells me), but tea is the second most popular drink in the world after water. I’m also glad to know that I’m consuming something that originated from processes as natural as immersing plant leaves in boiling water, as opposed to the complex process that involves roasting and grinding.

Different kinds of tea

What do you like?

Everything I’ve just talked about is only my preference. You’re free to feel differently, to enjoy your bitter beverage and to convince me that coffee is absolutely delicious.

At the end of the day, though, if I’m in need of a boost, I won’t be turning to coffee. I’ll boil some water in the kettle, find my container of tea bags, and make myself some soothing, delicious, and natural tea.

As someone who has life thanks to science, and who values the science of life, I ask you support the Ride to Conquer Cancer 2010 for scientific research to help the lives of others.

A friend of mine, who has run 5 km and 10 km marathons before, is participating in this year’s Ride to Conquer Cancer — riding 320 km on a bike! Please do what you can, and donate if you can, and most of all cheer on Astrorider! He will need your support to fundraise $10 for each kilometre of hard work.

To give you some background before I go into the content here, I had just concluded a successful interview (the first of two) and was stopping by the library on my way home. The trip from there was bizarre – random acts of generosity sprung up, seriously making me wonder whether the world was conspiring to be generous, or whether it was some kind of karma day.

Act I: A mother with a stroller

I held the door open. Seems ordinary enough, right? It all started here.

A mother with three kids, one of which was in a stroller, was trying to get out the front door. Maybe that entrance wasn’t accessible, because the door wasn’t opening for them.

So before I entered, I held the door open for them, allowing her to get her stroller out.

I entered the library no wiser that this was the first act of many.

Act II: Library

I only had to check in two books, and the library has self-serve check-in machines, to which I wandered when I entered.

It’s really an easy process, but the lady overseeing check-in still had to help the patron in front of me, for whom it was probably a first-time experience.

“Yeah, that’s it. You just push here on the screen and put your books on the table.”

My usual experiences with librarians are far worse.

Act III: Viva

Viva bus at a bus terminal; credit IRT.BMT.IND (Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0)

I ran across the street to catch the bus that was about to leave.

For those of you unfamiliar with this transit system, an individual with a ticket ‘validates’ the ticket on a machine before boarding the bus. That’s what I attempted to do.

The machine that takes in a ticket and validates it

I became frustrated because the machine wouldn’t take in the ticket – even after 4 or 5 tries, and even more frustrated because I was making the bus wait. I gave up, and boarded anyways through the door beside the driver. I genuinely intended to validate the ticket.

A minute or two into the ride, I asked the driver whether it was okay if I validated the ticket at my destination. His response surprised me.

“Sure… if you want.”

What the heck? Now, Viva is nicknamed “Free-va” because of the honour system on which fares work. Offenders keep their tickets without validating them – avoiding the fare – and are occasionally caught by enforcement officers.

Was this generosity, entrapment, or plain dereliction?

I fully intended to validate my ticket at the destination.

When the bus had taken me as far as it could, I got off and validated my ticket at that terminal. As the bus driver passed by – probably his coffee break – I showed the ticket casually, and he said:

“No problem, my friend.”

Whoa. What the heck.

Act IV: YRT

Staying on the theme of bus drivers, the story follows me as I transfer on to another bus. I recognized the driver when he pulled into the terminal, and he didn’t even bother to check my validated ticket, gesturing as though he knew I would always pay my fare properly.

The bus slipped out of the station and began its journey, only to be interrupted at the next red light, when the driver stopped and opened the door.

He recognized someone who was walking by, and invited her in. Probably friends or something.

They hugged, talked a bit – and though the light had turned green, I wasn’t complaining; it’s not like I had to rush. Then he gave her a transfer and she left.

Wait, what?! Did he just give her a transfer when she didn’t pay a fare?

Shock and realization occurred at the same time, when I discovered another act of generosity… or dereliction.

Epilogue

How does this kind of stuff happen? Do bus drivers decide to be really nice during the summer, and grouchy the rest of the time?

Was it karma? Or, perhaps, was it what happens when one walks out of a successful interview and notices only the good things occurring around oneself?

Deep questions to ponder. What do you think?

I experience stress on a daily basis, and perhaps much more so this month. As for my methods of dealing with stress, I enjoy music, knowledge, and technology.

Music

Classical and soundtrack music are especially enjoyable for me. I find that they contribute to a calmer emotional state, especially with beautiful orchestral pieces. (See what kind of music I like at Music to Hear.) Listening to the Brandenburg Concertos by Bach, for instance, Ennio Morricone film score, Planet Earth incidental music, or Hans Zimmer’s remarkable compositions, or Karajan’s amazing interpretations, probably bring my mood from stressed out at 8/10 to 3/10. This is one of the reasons that I listen to music while I’m doing work.

Take a look at a video of one of my favourite pieces, conducted by the composer Ennio Morricone at the United Nations Headquarters in New York.

Click here to view the embedded video.

Learning

TED videos are really inspiring to watch. Whether it’s Al Gore or someone talking about the importance of bread, I find TED to be an absolutely amazing source of inspiration.

Developing knowledge helps to take my mind off pressing matters, at least temporarily. And that’s one of the reasons that I like reading news, reading design blogs and so on.

Humour

FAIL Blog, NotAlwaysRight and FMyLife are all amazing sources of humour. Laughing is probably the easiest way to enjoy oneself for a while.

Today, I got a cross-country job promotion. I decided to plan my Going-Away-Forever party, and bought a pack of 100 invitations. After mailing them out to all my friends, I have 92 left. FML (source)

This keeps me amused, but is by no means as effective as music — after all, I can listen to music while working, and this humour stuff takes away from time I could be putting towards resolving causes of stress.

Et vous?

What do you do to keep your stress at an acceptable level? (You can select multiple answers. Choose any item if it has a soothing / stress-relieving effect for you.)

• inconsistent usage of Canadian/American/British spelling; for instance, writing ‘favour’ throughout but slipping in something like ‘neighborhood’
• bad marking schemes
  • taking questions off after the evaluation is written; for instance, an exam out of 119 becoming out of 100 — in that case, every loss of a mark is much greater in terms of percentage
  • an evaluation with required questions that become optional; for instance, questions 101–119 becoming ‘bonus’ questions when nothing specifically makes them harder or more suitable as bonuses
• mentions of topics that pique one’s curiosity, followed by a denial of that curiosity in the form of a “never mind”; for instance, mentioning a piece of highly interesting gossip and then refusing to speak about it
• mainstream media
  • constant bombardment of viewers with biased reports; for instance, Lou Dobbs
  • mentions of online or Web 2.0 communities specifically with the intention to appear ‘cool’ or ‘hip’ or ‘up-to-date’; for instance, CNN’s unnatural use of Twitter
• Windows Live Messenger’s ads at the bottom of the contact list
  EDIT: I’ve removed them by using A-Patch, but A-Patch doesn’t change the fact that I’m annoyed with those ads.
• Safari 4′s unreadable tabs on Windows Vista+
• music without verifiable ‘artistry’ to which fanboys and fangirls listen repeatedly or habitually
• books and movies with fans who are attracted by mere plot or appearance or celebrities
• “buggy software”
• EDIT: also, it is hugely distressing for me to hear intelligent people degrade themselves… I understand that not everyone has good self-confidence, but come on… you guys are smart and have amazing potential. Don’t discourage yourself from achievement.

Technological Expectations for 2009

Things we hope to be released in 2009:

Kindle 2.0 (from Amazon)

The Amazon Kindle is a wireless reading device from Amazon that many people in the United States are already enjoying as an alternative to physical newspapers, novels, and documents. Amazon is expected to deliver a new version of the device, possibly in a smaller/more compact form factor. Additionally, there have been many complaints about the keyboard and the page navigation keys, all of which may be addressed if a Kindle 2.0 is designed. There’s also been discussion about a textbook edition that could be exactly what students need to avoid lugging around huge, cumbersome, heavy textbooks. I would certainly appreciate e-textbooks; wouldn’t you?

An improved consumer Mac desktop (Apple)

Though the iPod (and iPod Nano), iPhone, and Macbook series have all seen massive improvements, Apple has not changed the iMac significantly except for faster processor speeds and more memory. What about changes that the consumer can see, feel, or save? As of now, their top-of-the-line 24-inch iMac at 3.06 GHz costs a whopping $2,299 CAD. Cheaper prices would help as much as product improvements.

Windows 7 (Microsoft)

Admittedly, its release date could be any time between mid-2009 to 2010, but we’re hoping for it as early as possible, because the earlier it gets out, the better the PC experience will be, and the more competition there is for the consumer desktop. New features like touch, improved user-friendly interface for all the applications (even WordPad and Calculator), and sensors are sure to distinguish this Windows version from any previous one. Perhaps it will even match Mac OS X in terms of aesthetics and usability in day-to-day tasks (the fun ones, like making movies and managing photos, not the productivity/business things). The SuperSite for Windows has more to read about Windows 7.

Windows Live Wave 3 (Microsoft)

This entails a new version of the Windows Live apps — Messenger, Mail, Photo Gallery, Writer, and newer additions such as Movie Maker. Windows Live Wave 3 also involves improvements to Microsoft’s online services (such as Spaces, Windows Live Mail, and FolderShare) that are already beginning to take place. Also, don’t forget that Microsoft announced plans to have Office in the cloud — Word-like, Excel-like, and PowerPoint-like applications that run inside a browser. Add that to their existing Office Live Workspace and certain business solutions, and we see Microsoft adopting the Cloud. Add Azure as a platform initiative, and we see Microsoft trying to lead the way again in terms of platforms. Once again, Paul Thurrott’s SuperSite for Windows has more to read.

Mac OS X Snow Leopard (Apple)

Snow Leopard is just a bit of an improvement on Leopard, and will add enhanced 64-bit support and other backend changes. Though it’s not particularly exciting, I’m sure it has many Apple fans hyped up.

Taking a little bit of a break from the content, you can subscribe to this blog by e-mail for free to get updates whenever a new post of interest is published:

Technological Hopes for 2009

How about the things we imagine, or hope to have (but probably won’t have)?

A consumer-affordable OLED television (Sony)

Just because OLED technology is in active development doesn’t mean that this will necessarily happen in 2009. As of the current year, an OLED TV from Sony costs over $2000, which makes it an unlikely choice for the average consumer, particularly given the recent economic crises.

A netbook from Apple

The Asus Eee PC that I have is ‘nice’, but I’m sure Apple could do a better job. As it stands, netbooks lack usability, given their tiny keyboards, tiny trackpads, small screens (and relatively miniature screen resolutions), limited processing power, and limited memory. If Apple decides to enter this field, they would face the same challenges, but could certainly design a better keyboard, a more usable trackpad (based on the one used on the new Macbooks), and invariably a better operating system than the customized Linux distribution or Windows XP.

For all we know, this concept is in the works.

Virtual Reality: Gaming and more

This was actually brought up by an acquaintance recently, who noted that video games are already becoming increasingly realistic, and that a large proportion of teens don’t distinguish between the unreal and the real anyhow. Virtual reality would make things seem even more realistic, but then we face the combined dilemma of: (a) limited computing power — only the newest computers have even a chance at a virtual simulation with a good resolution and frame rate, and virtual reality would be extremely difficult to implement in an affordable gaming console; (b) more time spent gaming; (c) some gamers would not distinguish between life and virtual reality — what if they practice killing in virtual reality and take that to real life?; (d) how would injury be simulated? — in a sniper game, for instance, how would a game provide physical feedback that you’ve just been shot?

Faster Internet connections in Canada!

This is just wishful thinking. While Japan and Northern Europe enjoy some of the fastest connections in the world (measured in gigabits per second), we in North America (more so in Canada than the United States) have to live with 5–20 Mbps connections over cable or DSL. At least large population centres in the U.S. can get FiOS; we don’t even have that.

What we need is competition. If Rogers Communications loses its (almost) monopoly over cable Internet, and if Bell Canada didn’t dominate telephone and DSL so much, maybe we’d see impressive improvements each year. What I want is affordable, 50+ Mbps connections — and I hope to avoid DSL.

3D holography

We’re still a long way from the interactive, life-like holodecks of Star Trek… but that doesn’t mean we can’t try. Projection-style holography is still very much possible today, and if technology moves forward the way we’d like it to, we’ll hopefully have three-dimensional images soon.

Practical applications of consumer-oriented holography, and that means outside the business or Pentagon or military, include the luxury of changing decorations in a split second, to have a ridiculously advanced visualizer for iTunes (or whatever media player you happen to be using), or maybe some futuristic gaming machine.

Is it too early to ask for a transporter or a replicator? (As far as I know, neither of those are likely within the next 50 years.)

Widespread hybrid/hydrogen automobiles

While hybrids are already becoming popular, the truly efficient and pollution-less automobiles, the hydrogen car, is still out of reach in most of the world. The hydrogen infrastructure just isn’t there; there are nearly no hydrogen fueling stations in most of the United States and probably none in Canada. I would like to see this technology mature.

Societal Changes in 2009

What’s going to shift in our society?

Increasingly-radical Christianity

In the past few years, we’ve always been talking about “radical Islam”, but a developing trend is “radical Christianity”. I’m making the most of my freedom of expression to note the increasing extremism of many denominations on social issues such as gay rights, abortion, immigration, war, trade, marijuana, and — believe it or not — health care. During the recent American presidential elections, we have seen church groups involving themselves in campaigning for or against certain candidates; we’ve seen endorsements from some, such as Reverend Wright, and condemnations from others. We’ve seen Catholic churches adamantly oppose birth control of any sort, evangelical Christians fighting for “the sanctity of life” and “the traditional family”, and all-in-all, an increasingly alarming involvement of the church in daily life and politics.

Let’s talk about one issue, perhaps one of the biggest issues, of recent months.

California’s Proposition 8 sought to ban all gay marriages in the state, and was affirmed by 52% of the voters. Religious organizations on both sides added to the conflict. My problem with Proposition 8 and the faulty logic used by religious proponents (“we’re protecting our religious rights and values”) is that a ban, by definition, restricts rights, as Lawrence Lessig will tell you. If a church doesn’t want to marry gay couples, they don’t have to; it’s not like the lack of a ban forces them to carry out such an action, whereas the ban would force other religious organizations to turn away gay couples.

Religious groups are abusing the role of religion in people’s lives. I will openly admit to being atheist, but to attack my reasoning based on atheism would be an illogical, ad hominem attack. This argument comes not from my atheism, but rather my atheism comes from it.

Inevitable gay rights movement

We cannot deny that this is a huge issue that will be campaigned for and against. Given the attention dedicated to such matters in 2008, I believe it will continue to be a large problem in 2009, and may perhaps be addressed (either favourably and unfavourably) by certain judicial bodies.

Liberalization of the U.S. Supreme Court

Barack Obama’s successful bid for president places him in the powerful position of appointing Supreme Court justices. If he can appoint a sufficient number to swing the court to the left, we may see the court overturning previous rulings on abortion, and perhaps further precedents.

Continuing rise of Asia

Asian nations, specifically China and India, are poised in positions of massive economic influence. Whether they can continue that influence and dominate trade is a matter for their governments and businesses to decide. China, on one hand, may begin to loosen rules on privatization and employment, while India’s government may take action to improve conditions and the quality of life throughout their territories. The United States’ weak economy makes it doubly vulnerable to the lure of cheaper business with China and India.

An eye on space

Already India has sent an object to the moon. The development of the International Space Station is progressing nicely. Space shuttles are to be sold off. Satellites are being launched and destroyed.

Would it be too far-fetched to say that space is at least a concern for every developed nation’s government and people?

Personal Expectations for 2009

Now we move from the general into the specific; from the societal to the individual. In 2009, I hope to improve my relationships with others, to exemplify the best characteristics of humanity, and in doing so, to live by the dictates of philosophy. I make it my New Year’s Resolution(s) to be a better person: to care more about the lives and feelings of friends and acquaintances… to treat strangers as friends… to open myself to influences… to help others lead more meaningful lives… and to combat societal issues that threaten to destroy the peaceful ways of life we enjoy.

In 2009, I also hope to gain a wider and more active readership on this blog. You can help, by commenting on this post, by subscribing to the blog via e-mail or RSS, and by sharing my posts with your friends.

Contribute to Frederick or Frederick’s Timelog

It’s nearly the end of 2008, which means 10 months of content that has evolved to support a community of readers. You can contribute to me or the operation of this blog in many ways:

• giving me feedback and discussion by commenting
• sponsoring a post on this blog (see below)

You could purchase a sponsored post on the blog, either directly (by contacting me) or through PayPerPost. These sponsored posts could be made about your business, product or service, and would deliver you link juice, publicity, as well as traffic. Sponsored posts recover more than half of this site’s operating costs.

Thank you for your continued readership!

This social experiment involves two parts:

• A part in which I am the experimenter; in this, I will attempt to modify the behaviour of others
• A part in which I am the subject; in this, I will allow others to influence my behaviour and actions

See more after the jump.

Now you must be wondering what this experiment is all about.

Part I — Intolerance

This is the less dangerous part of the experiment in which I attempt to engineer the influences impacting those around me in order to direct people away from intolerance, to being more accepting characters.

Under normal circumstances, I would immediately reject such action as being immoral — certainly, trying to preach one’s morals to another is unfair to their beliefs. I would also ordinarily say that I am able and willing to deal with friends who have radically different views from me, but these are not normal circumstances.

Indeed, I have discovered that intolerance is one of those things that severely limits my willingness to deal with a person. This is rather unfortunate, as some of the best people are, themselves, ignorant and intolerant; intolerant of those with differences, not accepting of those who are in the minorities for which many unjustly blame social problems, and, at other times, entirely ignorant of the precious differentiations that keep us so wonderfully diverse.

It is ironic that, in attempting to address this intolerant attitude, I am, myself, acting intolerantly toward them; I am not accepting their views as one ought to. And here I fall into the dangerous pit of self-justification. “Is this not truly better for the world? Does it not benefit those oppressed minorities to attack the behaviour that is harming them?” Unfortunately, this route of using moral excuses has been abused far too often. I am placing myself in danger of losing sight of some of the values for which I have always stood: acceptance, tolerance, and diversity.

You may be wondering what actions there are that I could possibly undertake to reverse the actions of bigots.

Yes, I use that provocative term of bigotry. My friends are not bigots; they are not entirely unaware of the radicalism of their views, nor would any of them believe that their views are any more right than those of others. Am I a bigot, or ignorant? for believing that my views of acceptance, tolerance and diversity are superior to the harmful actions of intolerance? for taking action to change the views of others? the views of those with whom I associate most closely?

Anyhow, to return to the subject and to answer, “what actions there are that I could possibly undertake?”, remember my previous writings. I have previously written how a shift in the interpersonal and environmental influences can collaboratively result in a certain result. Could I apply this theory to life? Could I apply it to subjects who are entirely aware of the actions I am taking against them? More importantly, could I live with myself if my theory proves realistic?

All these questions must be addressed by you, the people who will be impacted. You alone have the capability to determine whether or not I give up on this experiment, and if I decide to go forth with the plans, you will likely be changed. Do you wish that to happen? Would you give me the chance to tweak with your mind?

The comments section is the only place where you can share your answers to those questions.

Part II — Music

Anyone who knows me also knows my love for classical music and film soundtracks that are orchestral. For years, I dedicated myself to the study of an instrument, and the musical theory that is needed to best appreciate and operate the instrument. (I have since concluded those studies.) Yet these studies have shown me that there is a quality to classical music that is unmatched by anything of the modern or contemporary eras. Until this year, I have never seriously given legitimacy to the possibility of listening to contemporary music.

This shows several things about me, the subject:

• I do not often like to ‘fit in’
• My musical tastes are long pre-established
• “until this year” — there is a chance in reforming my views on music, as the influences of friends and acquaintances have already shown
• I am now more open-minded toward current music
• Any music that relates, even if insignificantly, to my established tastes will appeal to me

In this section of the ongoing experiment, I invite every friend and acquaintance with whom I deal on a near-daily basis to attempt and shape my musical tastes. This is no joke, and I will offer passive resistance to a change in my musical tastes only if the music is clearly distasteful (for instance, profanity, sex, drugs, violence… are themes that I cannot accept in music to which I listen frequently).

Please try.

The success of this part of the experiment will be defined by two things:

1. I accept and listen to styles/genres of music which are (a) not classical; (b) performed and recorded within the last five decades; and (c) also accepted and listened to by others who have played a role in shaping such musical tastes.
2. You have found a friend in me, whether as a result of my willingness to change, to adapt, and to adopt your preferences, or as a result of the changes themselves.

If I may satisfy these two goals of this part of the experiment, I will be content.

On a side note… subscribe by e-mail to get updates in the future!

ADDENDUM: Part III — Harry Potter

In the days following the initial publication of this post, I have realized that I have neglected another important part of my life that is already being heavily influenced: literary taste.

I have, of course, previously argued against Harry Potter, in Why Friends Suck, but now I will consider it — and if my friends are successful in influencing me in this part of the experiment, I will like Harry Potter by the end of the year.

This part of the social experiment calls on my friends, or at least the ones who are obsessed with Harry Potter, to make me a Harry Potter fan. If they are successful in doing so, it will demonstrate the power that friends have over each other. (Despite the fact that this sounds incredibly ‘corny’, it is true and has already been discussed in my previous writings.) At the same time, those who do not like Harry Potter are encouraged to present me with opinions to the contrary… so in the end, whether I like Harry Potter or not will reflect the success of one group over the other.

The Call to Action

You must comment, in support of, or in opposition to, my social experiment.

If I can gather the support for such an ambitious endeavour, I will launch into the project for the remainder of the year, and will publish notes detailing how this experiment could be improved upon to form a sound, scientific trial, as well as how any results from the experiment can be analyzed.

Please, I ask for your support in this matter. Tell me that my idea isn’t stupid. Tell me that you support my desire for sociological advancement. Most importantly, tell me that you will take part in the subtle social experiment.

Thank you.

Goals by Matthew Wu

In Grades 6 and 7, I was lucky enough to have an amazing homeroom teacher, Mrs. Huismans. In those years, I learnt many things, many life lessons, starting on the first day. She had a paper star on a string, hanging above the classroom. Our first lesson on the first day, was to aim for that star. Aim for that star, because even if you miss, you are still up in the sky. At the time, I was unsure of what it meant; I thought it was just some teacher trying to sound wise and inspiring. At the time, I thought, it doesn’t matter where I aim if I put the same effort in, since the product has to be the same… right? But Mrs. Huismans had many years of wisdom under her belt, and her advice had a deeper meaning, which I soon discovered.

Grade 8: Track and Field day. I usually did well on Track day, as I was a pretty physically active guy. Anyhow, this particular year, one of my friends was sweeping all the events. He picked up every first prize, except one, and I got every second prize except two coming into the last event: running long jump. Personally? I didn’t like running long jump, I wasn’t especially good at it, and I foot-faulted often… it just wasn’t really my thing. I was hoping to place in the top 5 at best, probably not even that. My friend, however, was pretty dang good at running long and was expected to win this event like he won most of the others.

The person organizing the event, Mrs. Cassle, did us a favor and placed a pencil at 5 metres as something for which we could aim. Most people got around 3.6, 3.7. When it was my turn, I put my head down and jumped. I got 3.82, which put me in third place, and I was pretty happy. Then, we got a second attempt — our second jump. My friend got 4.02, shattering his last one, which put him in first place… nobody was even surprised. Anyhow, my turn came again, and due to my last name being pretty far down on the alphabet, I was the last jumper. Mrs. Cassle came and put down another pencil, at the 4.02 mark as a target for me to aim for… a target for me to beat. At that point, I decided, I’m going to beat this guy, I’m not going to just beat this guy, I’m going to make 5 meters.

So, this time, as I ran in, I didn’t look down, I didn’t look at the board to make sure I didn’t foot fault; instead I looked at the second pencil: the pencil at 5 meters. I jumped. My form was unchanged. I had tried my hardest the previous time, and I tried my hardest this time, but somehow, something was different. I landed at 4.06 meters. I had won, and I had gotten over 20 cm more than my last jump. This was RIDICULOUS.

Looking back now, I realized something had changed, an urge, not an urge to beat my friend, and an urge to get to 5 metres, and urge to do something amazing. I failed, however… I failed to make the 5 meters, but… so what? Clearly it had worked; I had won a first place ribbon. I am sure to this day that if I had looked at my friend’s pencil, the one at 4 metres, I wouldn’t have made that jump. Why? Because then I would be aiming at something possible, something that had been done, and then I would be once again simply ‘trying’. When I looked at 5 metres, I was paving the road for excellence. I was aiming to not just settle for doing the best; instead I was aiming at something beyond that. I was aiming for that star.

It awoke something within me, because my muscles did not, all of a sudden, become more capable… it changed something. I aimed… at what I saw was perfection. The pursuit of perfection is climbing to an everlasting summit; as you go higher, it constantly recedes. The goal of perfection is not a place, but an ongoing and everlasting climb. This means that those who aim to be totally flawless will never be. It’s simply impossible. This, however, does not mean that it is pointless to aim for perfection. Simply because aiming for perfection invokes a longing, it makes you want and need to do better, so that you will be superhuman. You will have accomplished something that had never been done before; you will be… perfect, and that is so much more than being best.

So… goals, what do they do? They keep you real… they constantly show you that, hey, you aren’t the best… you have yet to do these things. They keep you on track and not constantly wavering around trying to better yourself. They give you satisfaction and motivation if reached. They give you a task at which to aim. Of course, goals are useful, so why set ridiculous, unattainable goals that must end in failure? Because when you are looking at that star, you don’t expect to fail; this is what makes failure so hard, yet so inevitable. What does happen, though, is that after you wake up and realize that you didn’t hit the star, you will realize, I’m just that much closer, and tomorrow, tomorrow is a new day. So yes, accomplishable goals are great and they get your self-esteem up, but expecting to succeed means you did not aim high enough, that you could have done better. Aiming for perfection is the only way not to underestimate yourself. The only way to achieve your whole human potential. The only way to unlock that hidden power inside, that driving force. They give you a further motivation, a true motivation. And that means you put more effort in, and that means success will come much more easily.

So aim for that star. Aim for that star.

• technology
• food
• warmth

Perhaps I am feeling happier. The National Seminar hasn’t even started yet… meeting other delegates is an interesting experience.

My flight to Calgary, Alberta (Canada) leaves at 2:00 p.m. Eastern Standard Time. There I will be having fun at the National Seminar for debate, a noncompetitive conference for debaters all across the country.

Friday is our recreational day, when we will be visiting Banff and the hot springs pool there. Who knows? I might even have a chance to visit Lake Louise.

I will aim to post Twitter and blog posts every day, in the rare occasion that one of you may actually be interested.

• food
• stress management
• light!

Am I feeling happier yet? Not really. In fact, I’ve been feeling more and more stressed out lately. In any case, that’ll be fixed by Tuesday of next week.

My Twitter updates are still not being synchronized to my blog, but hopefully that’ll be fixed with the next update of Twitter Tools.

NEXT: list for November 20.

I also realize that, perhaps you aren’t particularly interested in my personal life (although I’d point out that that is what many blogs focus on). I will return to posting other interesting things since I have nearly exhausted this topic.

It wouldn’t be too convenient to make a new blog post every day or even every week for this topic, so I’m going to place some of them on Twitter. Follow me on Twitter (http://twitter.com/frederickding) or check this blog (since my Twitter updates are automatically re-posted here daily).

My three-item list for today (November 14, 2008):

• a warm, safe, and hospitable home
• an intelligent and thoughtful mind
• friends who care

I really wouldn’t mind if you decided to share a few of the things for which you are grateful, either by commenting here or by signing up for Twitter and letting me know about you.

ADDENDUM: of course some things will need to be kept private. But even the private things will be posted, except under lock and key.

ADDENDUM 2: here are my lists for November 15 and 16:

• life
• liberty
• health

• friends who are smart
• a Macbook Pro
• friends who care too much

“Man has an eternal longing for companionship.”

With that line I begin my analysis of friendship. Indeed, my views are not entirely common, and it is my disagreement with the views of others that motivates me to write this philosophical examination of close relationships. In the following text, I will cover at least these topics:

• What is friendship?
• Motivations
• Influences
• Characteristics vs. causes vs. effects

Let’s get started. Visit page 2 to continue reading. EDIT: paging removed.

What is friendship?

I am neither seeking nor providing the absolute definition of friendship. Instead, I am offering my own, open definition. Friendship is a close relationship between persons.

Now, we could leave it at that, but of course the answer is far more complex. Friendship involves a number of people who (at least partially) trust each other, who are comfortable with each other, and who act in the collective interests or with the interests of the other(s) in mind.

Let’s pause there. What I have described so far is not friendship, but details of friendship and friends. But does it truly matter whether I can provide a clear-cut definition of friendship? My purpose here is to analyze friendships, not define them.

Yet for the purposes of my analyses, let us understand that I refer, not to the general persons that are on friendly terms, but to one’s closest and most dependable friends. I talk not of the people to whom I am merely nice, but those I trust with my private affairs and those to whom I feel an emotional connection.

“Every decent person has quite an accumulation of them.” I say this, but it is not true. Every decent person — one who has not experienced any tragedy to discourage him from socializing — has only a small number of truly trustworthy, dependable friends. These are the friends who can’t be let go; there are connections too deep to be severed easily.

On page 3 Next, I discuss motivations.

Motivations

I am quite certain that you and I could not live without love and acceptance. Friends offer these two ‘breaths of life’. I guess I am arguing that friendship is a basic need.

I wrote previously that having friends, and friends, are bad. (Actually, I was harsher than that.) I argued that friendship leads to a loss of individualism (a matter that I’ll address later in this analysis). However, we need to consider that this may be the very reason that friendships exist.

Many children and young adults are seeking an identity… trying to figure out who they are. Friends help shape a person’s identity, and friendships provide acceptance for such an identity. Everybody wants to be a somebody. This is one reason, one motivation, for people to form friendships.

Another is the need for a ‘receptacle’. No one can live an entire sane life without venting one’s emotions, thoughts, and needs. Friends offer a shoulder on which to lean.

In times of happiness, success, and well-being, every normal person wants to share those feelings. Everybody (at least, every sane person) likes to share those feelings because of something akin to the ‘network effect’ — the more people that are happy, the more happiness there is for everyone. Thus, in times of joy, people turn to those that will listen to them: their friends.

In times of sorrow, or disappointment, or bitterness, friends offer the support that a person needs to keep going. The great friends will do whatever possible to aid the person in need, because that is in the nature of friendship. They offer the understanding and love to keep someone in synch with the world, and in a sane state of mind.

And what about all those other times when a guy just wants to talk to someone? Well, he has the option of being cruel and mean in irritating someone, and he has the option of having a casual, friendly conversation with a friend. His friends are there for him. Friends are there for us.

Let me use a little example from an acquaintance, who offered an interesting illustration. When I’m bored and there is little to do, and my friends are available to talk (or logged on to Windows Live Messenger), what do I (a good and nice person) do? I talk to my friends.

And what if I had some burning secrets to reveal, to discuss? I don’t think, “let’s tell N.P., a person with whom I’m polite and nice”, because he isn’t the person I value as a close friend. Instead, I think, “let’s talk to K.P.,” — or indeed another friend — “a person who is kind and a close friend”, because I generally feel comfortable talking to people in this category, because I treat friends differently (and they treat me differently) than acquaintances or strangers. Friends are there for a reason, and I’m far more comfortable with them than anyone else.

On page 4 Next, I discuss influences.

Influences

‘Influences’ has been a major theme in my recent articles. My analyses have discussed the types of influences that shape one’s behaviour, the possibilities involving engineered influences, and then the unconscious influences of friends on other friends. I will now contradict my previous examination (Why Friends Suck) to say that the influences of friends are positive — almost without exception. (This is yet another controversial viewpoint, simply due to its extremism.)

Before I even begin to discuss why they are positive, I will refute the claim that bad friends are bad influences on kids, leading to sins like gang crime / organized crime, narcotics use, sexual misconduct, and so on. To refute such a claim, I must reference my previous analysis of human behaviour and the variables that determine it, in which I noted that the three types of influences — environmental, intrapersonal, and interpersonal — can be combined to engineer a certain result. By extension, I was also noting that no single type of influence can completely change a person. In other words, bad friends cannot be the only cause of bad behaviour; the kid must have an intrapersonal tendency to such behaviour, emotional problems, other personal issues, or may live/learn in a negative environment. Although ‘gangster’ friends would have an impact, they are not the bad influences. In reality, it could depend more on intrapersonal or environmental influences, or a careful balance of the three types.

Ah, but I digress, gentlemen… the issue here is the positive influences of friends. (Generally, we will proceed on the assumption that those who read this article are wise enough to have good friends.) By now I have shown that friends are at least a factor that influences the shaping of a person’s personality. Why is that good? Let’s look at it this way. Every person’s life will no doubt involve relations with other people. In order for strangers to ‘connect’ — to feel comfortable in the presence of others — there has to be common ground. If you (or I) are an unordinary character with strange behaviour, you will benefit from having good friends that make you more ‘normal’, because normalcy will improve your chances of succeeding in the future — as a student or teacher, employee or employer. Yet this is only one reason.

Have we yet considered the possibility that a more common personality will lead to a more emotionally-fulfilling life? This is what I see: a personality that others shape is usually a personality that others can accept, and the more that others accept you (or the more people that accept you), the better (or more numerous) your associations will be. As I’ve described in the Motivations section, close associations have benefits. Good friendships make good friends make happy people.

Basically, the crux of my argument is this: ‘normal’ is good. If you feel that I haven’t sufficiently proven that, just leave a comment and move on. I believe that my arguments clearly show how friends lead to common, normal interests/values and that those normal interests/values help a person reach out to a larger population of people (that is, those who are also ‘normal’).

On the next page Next, I will distinguish between causes and effects of friendships.

Characteristics vs. causes vs. effects

What do I mean by this? Well, I wanted to make the point that the characteristics of friendship aren’t always easy to distinguish from the causes and the effects of friendships. In the cases above, we have items that appear in more than one column.

Let’s start with the first, which matches with the last. M.W. says that a friendship has to involve similar interests, because otherwise there is no social reward. He says that, for instance, two people who both love football are more likely to get along that two people that have strong, different favourite sports. (It’s a good point; what would friends do if they disagreed all the time?) However, I see this as a reversal of the causal relationship. I argue that friends lead to similar interests and matching personalities, not the other way around.

Why? Simple.

1. I have always believed that friendships based upon and depending upon shared interests are unstable and temporary. Influences are always changing us; what happens when, a few months down the road, you just don’t share those same interests anymore?
2. I have already proven that friends have an influence on one another. Is it not probably that the similar interests are products of that influence? I believe that good, strong friendships (and many of them do involve similar interests) really lead to the persons gravitating toward commonness as a result of that bonding, and that both sides lose a little of their own personality to incorporate elements of the other’s; in short, that the friends are creating a shared personality, not deriving friendship from an existing shared personality. If this conjecture is true, then it will also explain the purpose of the subtle influences of friends, the reality that complete strangers or completely different people can still become friends, and why so many friends are so similar.

My second conjecture is the more significant. It shows that A and Z, people with different interests, preferences, and varying values, can indeed become friends, as in reality. All that it takes is a small bit of common ground, whether it’s as insignificant as physical contact (co-workers or classmates), or something personal such as a mutual friend, or something as significant as parallel academic achievement. (I have many personal examples of friendships that started off meeting only a few of these criteria.) As that common ground is discovered and expanded, these acquaintances could ‘click’, leading to further endearing relations, or could completely not ‘click’, resulting in a strictly impersonal relationship. Then, if it does ‘click’, then over time both A and Z will be more comfortable making their interests and values known. Given sufficient rapport, there is bound to be a considerable deal of ‘rubbing off’ on each other, and that is how we arrive at A and Z, no longer dissimilar but now matching.

My conclusion follows next on the next page.

Conclusion

Ladies and gentlemen, there is a miraculous wonder in everyday life. Indeed, it is so common that most of us take it for granted, and fail to understand it. Friendship is normal, as I have shown, because it is in human nature to form such bonds. We all have a need for these relationships, and each and every one of us benefits from this sort of trusting bond.

I have argued — hopefully, successfully — that though friendship is common, close friendships are few. I have argued that friends are important in times of joy and in times of sorrow. I have argued that the influences of friends are a positive, not a negative effect (in contrast to previous writings), and I have also distinguished between friendships based on shared interests and shared interests formed out of friendships.

What can we see? I see place for improvement. We could all be friends… just not all close friends. ###

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